yay! finally i'm almost done with my draft for my manga and i'm done with my new song. ( i suck at singing my own song haha i need someone to sing this one for me.. wait for the vid at my FB or to my band mates)

but i need more ideas for my manga.. i don't want my compositions to end up boring. you get what i mean? i want it to be extra awesome! BWUAHHAHAA! but i'm really running out of ideas..

is it because im growing too old? or i need somebody to inspire me? i hate this feeling.. i feel like i'm turning into a stupid person.. haha! i want to be creative just like before.. haii oh well, this is life. Without this kind of things, life is surely boring.. it is like KHR without lambo, Soul Eater without Black star or Seto Hanayome without lunar edomae.. anyway i'm gonna share my new poem.. i was inspired by Crona of Soul Eater.. "Episode 39, Crona's escape: please show me your smile" is one of the best episodes i've ever seen..

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im always in the midst of darkness,
seating beside the lonely walls,
living in my own cobwebs,
im part of this loneliness.

i feel sorry for myself,
im sorry i that i was born.

how lucky you are that you have your mother beside you but i don't,
how lucky you are that you have your mother to take care of you but i don't.

i feel sorry for myself,
im treated like a tool by my own mother.

You dine with tables and chairs but i dine with floors and only floors.
You dine with spoon and forks but i dine with my own dirty hands.

i feel sorry for myself,
i want to be just like you..

I grew up killing other people with silence,
talking to no one but my own shadow,
i've never treated like a child,
im such a burden.

i want to kill her but i can't,
because of the fact that she is mother..

whatever happens she is my mother,
and no one can change that..
she is my mother..

im so jealous of you,
you almost have everything in this world but i don't.

i feel sorry for myself,
Do you feel sorry that you are born?

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NOTE: this has nothing to do with me.. but i kinda felt sad while im writing this poem..
BIGGER NOTE: (bwuahahaaha) most of my poems are called open pOems..so please don't ask me why it doesn't rhyme.. haha!